Not so Perfect Pagan

Shade's Solitary Studies

“Coming out of the Broom Closet” or “I found out that God is also the Goddess”

An Advanced Studies Term-paper by Shade

This paper will compare how my family, friends, colleagues and clients view my paganism in contrast with their own belief system. I have composed ten questions in a written questionnaire that will include: Name (optional), Age, Sex, Relationship to me, Religious preference, which should include an explanation of their religion and if it’s the same as when they were children. Their knowledge of Wicca if any, with a description of Wicca traditions called "What is Wicca"attached (see at the end of part 3 . What were their first reactions to my coming out and if they feel the same way now. If spiritual belief systems are to be measured is Wicca equal with their own? Are Wicca beliefs in direct conflict with their own? If so are they willing to ignore and/or accept that conflict for the sake of our personal relationship or my professional services at the present time. Now that a Wiccan is in their life openly have they found themselves questioning their beliefs in anyway or has it only strengthen their own belief system? Has my speaking about Wicca and its beliefs irritated or worse insulted them? Do they believe that open communication about any and all religions including comparisons is beneficial?

I believe the questions I am posing will give a good understanding to how many of the participants are actually looking for a path of wisdom and spirituality. Which are simply following along with either their spiritual heritage (parents up bringing) or societal preference. As we have learned in Wicca our spiritual and mundane world can not be separated and I believe that one of the questions I posed will show that some people may be willing to simply ignore their own beliefs to receive a worldly benefit. Yet others may have actually grown in wisdom and spiritual/religious tolerance and receive the same benefit in a positive manner. Lastly, since I have never had to write a term paper before now I think this will be more for my own personal wisdom and growth then anything else. If as I hope people our truthful in their answers this paper may show me where to set a few boundaries for myself and just where to be willing to speak opening about religious topics in general.

To begin twenty eight persons, men ages 24 to 54 and women ages 14 to 70 were given questionnaires or asked to participate. Of that total, eighteen returned the form. Seven males - 2 Spiritual, 2 No Preference, 1 Wiccan, 1 Episcopalian, 1 Logical. Eleven females – 3 No Preference, 2 Non-wiccan nature based spiritual, 2 Presbyterian, 2 Wiccan, 1 Spiritual, 1 Protestant nondenominational Christian. There were ten non-returns: three men – 1 Christian, 1 No Preference, 1 refusal to participate, seven women – 2 Christians, 2 Spiritual, 1 Teenager investigating Wicca, 1 Logical, 1 No Preference. Of these figures all the Wiccans, Non-wiccan Nature based spirituals returned the form. Logical and General Spiritual were split evenly, the Logical non-return was to busy to respond and the spirituals were a no reason, it was lost and to flustered by the questions to try to respond. No Preference more then 75% returned the form and of the non-returns 1 was a refusal to partisipate, my now ex-husaband (see note) and the other was a no reason. Of the Organized “Christian” Religions 4 out of 7 returned the form but 3 out of the 4 what I perceived as “strong” believers in their religion accepted the form, then ignored it and/or never returned it and/or said they wanted to fill it out but lost it, received another copy and still never returned it, or simply ignored the whole thing. This was surprising to me as I made it very clear that I needed what I felt was excellent respresentation of the christian belief system and honest answers and I felt I could rely on them for just that and personally I thought it would be an oportunity for them to “voice” their opinions and feelings about their “one true God, and “only way” faith and how my idolizing, devil worshipping, going to “burn in hell” for forever lifestyle was wrong.

NOTE: The refusing person as I stated is now my ex-husband at the time in his mid forties, and who’s only memorable reference to “God” during this time was to say that “He was going to heaven because he had never done anything bad to anyone, "killed or robbed" anyone and he knew when he got to the gates of heaven he would be let in no question about it.” This statement was made in front of other family members and so egotistical and arrogant and it shocked me so badly that I could not respond, other then to say that he needed to re-evaluate his ideas of “bad” and let it go at that. On further evaluation of this paper I realise now, that over the next two years this was one of the first eye-opening situations that led me to leave this man after 15 years of sharing our lives together. I wish him well on his path.

What I will explore is what the participants had to say and how I will use this knowledge in the future. In my full paper I listed their responses alphabetical from A through R, their age and sex is as follows: A. M-54, B. M-24, C. M-53, D. M-45, E. M-32, F. M-34, G. M-25, H. F-51, I. F-39, J. F-37, K. F-42, L. F-54, M. F-24, N. F-41, O. F-61, P. F-50, Q. F-26, R. F-41 Their complete answers are not listed here for lack of space. But are available for review...

Question 1 - Do you have a religious or spiritual preference? Please define:

I found it interesting that of the “Organized Religions” only the two Presbyterians had a solid definition of their religion, the others were more their own feelings for their faith and/or their non-understanding of their own faith that had them use their feelings as a definition. The Protestant Nondenominational Christian wasn’t defined at all, which the name itself seems like an oxymoron. She is a Protestant Christian but has no denomination. My thought was she’s covering herself by claiming the Protestants, but if that was not good she could go with any group in the future, but forever and always is a Christian so she will go to heaven in the end no matter where she ends up. I mean no disrespect to this person as she was the only “Christian” who filled out the form and did with total honesty and in what she feels is love for me and her God.

Of the Pseudo-Christians one wrote Wiccan in her religious preference but says she is a Christian who has a “belief in a God” “a God Actual.” This made no sense to me as to be Christian is to believe in Christ, she states she believes in “God” I do not at this time understand her perception of the word “God”. The other I understood very well, he believes in Jesus as the Son of God, that he doesn’t wish to be involved with “Organized Religions” he worships surrounded by nature, and as he lives determines his future lives.

My Wiccan participants also did not define their spirituality, I believe this is because they know I am of like minds with them and found it unnecessary to do so but for the body of this paper I have added my personal Wiccan belief definition.

The purely Spiritual persons describe it as “Hers” alone, unwilling to support organized religion she finds them fraudulent and hypocritical. She believes in a high power, fairness, goodness and optimism. The other believes in his Spirituality not his religion, that religions are man-made and political in nature. The spirit is his lifeline to the universe and his beliefs are the same as Wicca. In both cases I respect their opinions and believe them in their statements, other then to say that I do see a place for organized religion in that not everyone in this life will have a “free thinking mind” but will still need a faith to hold on too. This is where organized religion can be useful if it is not completely restrictive to its own ideas and philosophies.

The Nature based spirituals have close connections to animals and nature, living a moral life, searching for balance and meaningful purpose. The other chooses freedom to worship with nature, spirits and the Creator in her own chosen path. I am of complete like minds with both of these women and would at any time call them “Sister” in heart and mind.

The No Preference group had literally no comment, one believes in higher power and reincarnation and another in Basic Rules “Do unto Others” I almost placed this one with the logicals except for the fact that I know her and she is not that non-spiritual and she used the term “Do unto Others” even if only meant as a reference it shows an underlying knowledge of greater powers in the universe then herself.

Lastly the Logical: I do not need to define why I used this term he has done it very well for me: “The things that are known are seen, heard, smelled, or felt. Everything else is conjecture”. I believe his belief in this statement. But I also see it as an unwillingness to realize anything that does not have what he sees as hard fact behind it. Faith and spiritual awareness are not fact based, they must be believed in one’s mind and heart. In this is trust in one’s self and one’s feelings. So then in truth, feelings and trust in one’s self is what the logical person does not have or does not want to have for whatever reason. It is the inability to trust and feel that makes them logical in the first place.

Question 2, Is it the same as what you were raised with as a child?

I am intrigued by the fact that out of 18 participants only 3 are of the same faith as when they were children, and that it is Presbyterian and not some “Christian” titled faith that has the most. I will be interested to speak with both of them about their faith and upbringing to see what core beliefs have held them to it throughout their lives. It was not surprising that all three Wiccans were raised in an “Organized Religion” atmosphere, we have a tendency to ask to many questions and expect an answer other then “you must simply believe or have faith in what “we” tell you”. Of the four with no religious upbringing only one chooses an organized religion, the others are “free thinking spirituals” . Three with No preference are still no preference. The logical was raised Fundamental Baptist. The rest are either no religion or organized and all now have a basic spirituality that is individual to themselves.

Part 2